Soak it in gas and watch it melt away.

I’ve been busy, extremely busy, to busy. Firstly I must apologize to all the people I have been fencing. A lot has happened since I returned from Asia, most of which I don’t care to discuss.

I’ve had to make some very difficult decisions as most everyone has had to do in the last couple years. While it might sound as though the world is coming to an end as we know it, it is far from the truth.

I came back to a waste land void of anything resembling a job opportunity, which is surprising as a lot of you know that I had several options available when I left. So when all my initial plans had evaporated I began to hit the pavement actively looking for more leads. It was a grueling task, I can remember when I graduated from school I could look at the Jobfinder on the ASLA website and see 50+ pages of jobs with 20 positions a page. I pulled the same page up when I got back from Asia and found myself lucky to find more then 15 leads TOTAL, when I say leads that doesn’t mean I was qualified for the openings – 95% of the openings were for senior principles. As time progressed the last straw eventually came in the mail.

I applied to the absolute ideal position that I see myself doing; I had the qualifications, the personality, the motivation, the background. They called, we talked. They called, we talked. They called. In the letter was an explanation that 350 people had applied for the same job… 350! I know to some people 350 people doesn’t sound like much… but when there are seasoned principles applying for the same mid level position as you, you don’t have a chance in hell.

I knew my outlook was starting to look dim so I had simultaneously started to look elsewhere. I had been touching base with several people that had left the field and found better opportunities – I definitely wasn’t the only one in this situation.

One job in particular looked like the ticket to freedom, with an agonizing detour through hell. I mulled over it for a couple months until that 350 applicants pile of poo letter arrived and decided I had to bite the bullet or sink with the ship.

It took two months for that decision. Two months of agony.

When I left North Dakota after graduating from NDSU I vowed that I wound NEVER come back to this state come hell or high water. When I say never, I mean it.

I have known for years that I have a talent, and it was at this point that I knew if I didn’t make the right move I would be just another person shelving a dream. In Asia I realized a lot of things about myself, most notably that I should trust my heart more than my conscience. While my conscience makes the rational decisions that usually keep me out of trouble, it has never really gotten me what I actually wanted.

In Asia I followed my heart. If I wanted to do something, I did it and I didn’t even remotely question myself. That paid dividends.

All explanations aside, my heart, while pained to this day, continually keeps telling me that this is the right thing to do.

I have moved to Williston North Dakota, as bad as it may seem I am still alive.

I took a job here wirelining explosives. It is against everything I believe yet everyone that drives a car, including myself, supports it indirectly. I hate to try and justify it but it is the reality of the situation. You can’t preach for the whales when you drive a car, and if you really want to get into the details you can’t preach for the whales unless you live off the land, without power, in a place far, far, far away from society… good luck with that.

So, having sold a piece of my soul for monetary gains; I now find myself clinging to whatever bits of reality I can find. Williston is a bubble, there are help wanted signs on just about every business. I was forced to shop at Walmart for the first time in at least 10 years. The same goes for eating at McDonalds – I had to eat there, another 10+ year record down the drain. If I find myself in a pinch to eat out late at night I have only one option.. Hardees – JOY. Don’t get me wrong there are at least two other places, but the success rate playing Russian roulette with my stomach at those places is far worse.

** I should put a side disclaimer in here to anyone at work that might in the off chance find and read this. I can, and have, separated my personal beliefs with my actions and in no way would they ever affect my performance.

There is one good thing about Williston – it is surprisingly scenic. The problem however, is that I have no time to enjoy it.

All complaints aside I should shift the mood for the real plan behind the veil.

Dreams cost money, if anyone tells you different they are lying. They take more than money; they take intelligence, dedication, tears, bravery, camaraderie. I have left a lot of things unsaid in the past just to avoid an awkward air – those times have passed. If this is going to happen, everything needs to be on the table, yes it will be emotionally painful, I can attest to that. The ones that are worth it will understand and make it work.

One last push, as cliche as it sounds, it is true – the truth will set you free.

I have been diligently working behind the scenes to secure exhibition space for my photography. I have a contract in my possession as I write. Next month I plan on sitting down with the North Dakota Art Gallery Association to discuss a traveling show to go throughout North Dakota. It’s an association of art galleries across North Dakota, amazingly insinuated by their name; needless to say it is serious, especially if everything takes off as I am envisioning it.

I have already discussed a roll out plan for Montana, South Dakota, and Minnesota for the Unhindered by Glass series.

What is one series without a follow up right? Maybe several?

Traveling and photography are my Moirai. If I can find a happy equilibrium with Landscape Architecture fit into the picture I might truly be onto something.

The plan as it stands right now is to continue working here in Williston for at least another year; it is unlikely that I do anything less – unless I snap. Fiscally it doesn’t matter – I could pack up tomorrow for all that matters. It is more about seasons, availability, and solid planning. I learned a lot with Asia, and one thing that separates a tourist from a traveler is this… do not over plan, a little structure is good to provide some direction, to much and you are just checking off a list and not enjoying the experience.

I haven’t firmed up the travel plans quite yet for a multitude of reasons, most notably – it is over a year away. I can say this however; South America while still on the agenda has been pushed back again. It almost seems like easy mode to go there after Asia, a trip better done at an older age.

I’m chasing the exotics right now and where better to find them than these places:

Turkey, Egypt, India, China, Nepal, Mongolia, Bora Bora.

I put Bora Bora in there for a cap stone; something about staying in a bungalow hovering over top of aqua blue oceans seemed like a good way to end a trip. It worked out well for South East Asia… might as well keep with it – the parents might have to join me again on that one too.

I’ve already started planning shoots; it is part of picking the countries. Long story short I am in for some serious scenic eye candy, culture, and spectacular food.

I should end a post this dense with some more optimistic talk.

We all know things will get better in the future, I for one haven’t lost sight of where I am going and as bad as things may seem there are a lot of good things happening that I haven’t mentioned.

On the flip side, continually living in the future is a good way to loose track of the present. I am well aware of that and trying to make the best of what is at my doorstep.

So to everyone that keeps along with the storyline, you’ll have to forgive me if I seem distant, it’s a delicate balance at this point and the more energy I can use to steer the boat, the better the chances I have of getting through the storm.

Apologies if I haven’t replied, returned a phone call, sent a card; I’m trying.

And now for a few photos:

I should, in theory, have way more photos to show everyone. I travel all over western North Dakota, notably the most scenic part of the state. I’m frequently out during the best times – early morning and late evenings at sunset. The problem, however, is that I am always going somewhere or coming back with… no… time… to… stop.

Stay tuned, I have more surprises in the bag of tricks. “I have more surprises,” that should be my catch line.